Quarantine Proof Your Marriage

​With an influx of adults in transition; uprooted and now working from home or laid off from the massive shift that Covid-19 has brought our way, many partnerships are strained by the change in home/life relationships.

After years of couples finding a groove that works best for them, marriages have been flipped on their head as many now are learning to share more space, spend more time, and navigate the additional stress brought on by quarantines, virtual school, and the fear of falling behind on bills or ill.

Faced with an unprecedented amount of emotional and financial strain, more and more couples are considering divorce as an option to preserve their happiness and their sense of self.

The truth is, not all marriages are meant to last forever. And with the abundance of time many people have now, more and more are making the courageous choice to put their personal happiness above the institution of marriage.

However, if you’re looking to strengthen your relationship during this time, hope has not been lost!

While the increase in togetherness may be tough at moments, here are some ways to Quarantine Proof your Marriage so that you can remain in the committed relationship you enjoy:

1. Keep Communication Open – stress affects men and women differently. Learning how to acknowledge your truth in any moment, despite how uncomfortable it may be, and share it with your partner is important to create more closeness. So if you are struggling financially, with work, with virtual education, or with mental distress (which is on the rise due to COVID) share yourself and your situation with the person you love the most.
2. Understand your personal needs – Your spouse may never be able to fulfill all of your needs. And as you grow and learn to accept the circumstances regarding the ‘new normal,’ chances are, your needs have shifted. Which needs can your partner easily fulfill for you? Where do you need to seek contentment and gratification that can not be met by your spouse? Understanding your personal needs and acknowledging what your partner can easily fulfill and which they can’t are essential to managing your expectations and appreciating the parts of your life that are enhanced through the connection in your marriage.
3. Figure out your context – Context is the lens in which you view (everything) your marriage. If your context for where you and your partner are in your lives is ‘this isn’t working’ then, it’s not going to work! Yet, if you can step back and find awareness of your context, you can recognize how to shift so that the story you tell yourself about your marriage doesn’t feel so closed in. Perhaps you can try the lens of ‘this is temporary’ or ‘these struggles will make our bond closer,’ and see how you can shift the narrative about your marriage.
4. Seek out help – navigating relationships can be an emotional battle of rightness vs wrongness. But the truth is, many times it’s not about he said/she said. So much clarity can be found by including a professional who can offer perspective to a couple who is experiencing discourse. And often, having a safe space to talk, feel heard, and practice effective communication is exactly what a couple needs in order to be brought closer together.

The therapists at Inner Clarity are here for you and your partner. We work with you to uncover your needs, help you to feel peace in your relationships, and work to help you take steps toward your personal happiness. Experiencing troubles in your marriage? Book your appointment HERE

Important to note: While many marriages seal their bond and find togetherness during stressful times, many others can become tumultuous.

If you are experiencing domestic violence which includes physical, emotional, and mental/spiritual abuse please call the New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline for immediate assistance: New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline

1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233)