How to Love yourself first

Are you someone who struggles with self love, self esteem, or self worth?

By definition Self Worth means “ an individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration.” (APA Dictionary Definition)

Easily, this is a trait that any parent would want their child to hold. Likewise, if you had a friend who was struggling with self esteem and self worth, chances are you’d wish this level of self love for them too. Yet for too many, self worth has been muted and minimized for so long that at this stage in the game, it can feel nearly impossible to build it back up.

The truth is, all humans deserve to feel loved, worthy, and capable. So, if along the way, you adapted a belief that you are not; the following advice will help to bring awareness to your thoughts so that you can begin to make small shifts toward massive amounts of worthiness for your uniquely perfect, amazing self.

Happiness is the birth right of every human being.

Every single person deserves love. It is your right to feel good about yourself and create your own version of personal happiness.  It’s not selfish to command a high sense of self-worth or to feel fulfilled and content in your life. If fact, feeling good about yourself is the most selfless act to take. It is within loving yourself and your own unique quirks that you are able to create more compassion and empathy for the imperfection in others around you.

Still struggling to appreciate your inner awesomeness? Here are some quick tips to begin to tune in and gently shift your dialogue to one that encourages more love, compassion, and forgiveness for your number one….YOU!

1. Recognize when and where judgment of yourself and comparison to others emerges. One of the best ways to build self-worth is to create an immunity toward judgment of yourself. This can be difficult, especially if your conditioning has been the opposite. For this first step, focus only on creating more awareness toward your inner critic….
   • When is it that you begin to downplay your own personal awesomeness?
   • How does your inner critic respond when you feel like you missed an opportunity or stumbled on your words?
   • What are nice things you tell yourself about yourself?
   • How do you feel about yourself when your expectations are not met or your intentions are misconstrued?

By beginning to tally when your inner critic says nice things about you versus when that inner voice attacks your desires, actions, and abilities you will begin to notice the programming within.

     The Golden Opportunity – The more you begin to recognize your inner critic that emerges as judgment of yourself, the more you can learn to shift to a better thinking thought that may begin to allow you to build yourself up, rather than tear yourself down.

As you recognize a belief about yourself that makes you feel poorly, remember that you are a human being who is doing their best. Hold the belief tightly that you are doing your best. And within that, that you are deserving of feeling like enough and knowing that you are giving your absolute best. No matter what the circumstance, what you are able to give moment to moment is always enough.

2. Give yourself credit...like all the time.

In today’s comparison driven culture, it can be difficult (and often feel downright uncomfortable) to pat yourself on the back. But the truth is, you deserve daily accolades – so don’t be shy about taking them!

Find more ways to give yourself credit for being amazing!

• Did you do the dishes today even though you felt unmotivated or even depressed? You did it! And what you have given in this moment is enough.
• Have you had to place strong boundaries in your life that haven’t been easy for others to understand? Congratulations! You are beginning to trust your gut and take a stand to rid your life of toxic relationships!
• Have you made small shifts through anxiety and judgement and are now in a state where you can practice awareness and mindfully tune in to how you are feeling and what you are thinking? You are amazing! You are learning to go against your conditioning and move toward a deeper sense of self.

Find comfort in allowing these things to be enough and pat yourself on the back for getting through the day.

After all,

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr. Seuss

Also, you rock…remind yourself  more often.

3. Do more of what helps you feel good about yourself.

Surround yourself with people that allow you to feel good about yourself.
Find a community online, a trusted person in your family or circle of friends where you feel secure to feel good about yourself.
Remind yourself why you deserve reciprocated love and friendships.
Exercise, craft, write, or sing.
Be creative and allow your emotions place and space to move.

Your definition of feeling good is not open to anyone else’s opinion. The more you continuously make deliberate choices that help you to feel good about YOU, the more you will find that taking a stand in the pool of self worth is truly where you’d like to be.

Listen, human beings are not meant to be perfect. In fact, you can spend your entire life trying to find one (a perfect human) only to recognize that every single being is riddled with imperfection.

It is not the perfection that creates an amazing human, rather the imperfection held by all that create uniqueness, quirks, and the specialness that makes you, you.

Your uniqueness is what makes you incredible! Spending time to embrace it helps to elevate your personal sense of self.

By creating more awareness around your sense of self worth, you continue to shine light on what is working for you, and what needs to be redefined so that you progress toward more of owning your inner awesomeness.

Struggling with Self Worth but deep down know that life is meant to feel good?

At Inner Clarity our therapists work with you to help unpack your inner dialogue and create steps toward success so you can love yourself more, feel good inside, and know that in every moment, you are good enough.

Ready to learn how to find more personal love for you? We are here to help.