A Mother’s Guide to Enjoying the Holidays

Dear Mothers,

It’s that time of year when you tend to go over and above all the calls of duty and expectation for your kids. The magic of the Holidays truly resides in your hands, and to make this season more magical than ever, you are going to have to work extra hard.

Or don’t you?

Many Mothers believe that Holidays don’t happen, unless they work hard, create an enchanting setting, and practice perfectionism so that their children can create memories worth sharing. In order to make this happen, too many women sacrifice their mental well being, financial stability, and time management in order to go over and above the role of Mom/Santa/Gift Giver Extraordinaire.

The truth is, creating memories that last a lifetime doesn’t need to require you to feel burnt out, exhausted, and appreciated less than you’d like. Running yourself ragged this time of year can lead to melt downs, resentment, and complete and utter exhaustion.

You can still make incredible memories with your family by doing what you love, setting appropriate boundaries with your energy (mental, emotional, and financial), and taking moments to pause to truly appreciate the gifts of the year.

2020 is different. The desire to create fascinating experiences for your children to remember forever is still strong. However the ability to make that happen through external sources, pictures with Santa, memories around the menorah and kinara, and outside family traditions have changed. Yet that doesn’t mean you have to find new ways to take yourself down to zero in order to provide your children with love, special moments, and sacred family togetherness.

So how do you create magical moments without driving yourself to the brink of resentment for the 2020 Holiday season?

Here are quick and easy tips to create a holiday of connection, without losing your cool and learning to revel in the specialness of this time of year.

1. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it. From Elf on the Shelf, coordinating family pajamas, staying up all night to cook countless dozens of cookies, and making yourself kooky to celebrate ‘eight crazy nights’…if it causes you stress and anxiety, then consider ditching it. The magic of the Holidays is created by your intention and emotion. Stress, fatigue, and resentment take away from the truest meaning of this time of year. If it’s causing you anxiety and stress, you can give yourself permission to shelf Elf on the shelf until next year, or at least balance that responsibility with things that are meaningful to you. Your children will still enjoy the season, even if everyone ‘forgot’ to smile for the annual, outdoor, family pic.
2. Set limits and boundaries. You only have so much emotional energy every day. If you use up your reserves over-doing, overspending, and over-serving others, your reserves dry out pretty quickly. That means, the people that matter the most to you, aren’t able to see you at your best. Setting limits with spending, obligations and visits, and what you will do to meet someone else’s expectation of you, are essential so you keep enough emotional energy for those who matter most in your life.
3. Take it easy on yourself. Even though you may try to this time of year, you can’t do it all. Make sure you sprinkle self care in while you are out creating the magic of the season. Take time to rest, create space for gratitude, and focus on the fact that you are always more than enough to everyone around you.
4. Focus on what matters. At the end of the day, it’s not the gifts, the decorations, or the honey baked ham that makes the Holidays special…it’s the love! Creating moments of love and togetherness may look different this year so learning to adjust your lens so you can lean in to what makes you feel good is important. In your most stressed moments of preparing for the Holidays, pause and ask yourself ‘what is most important to me, right now?’ Ask and then listen to your inner guidance system.

Mama, you are the magic that moves every season, and never is that more true than now. Remember, the extraordinary excitement of this time of year is more enjoyable when you practice the pause and enjoy what is already around you. The most important memories are made not when doing things, but by being present and learning to do more of the things that help you to feel calm, joyful, and surrounded by love.

Are you experiencing burn-out due to the stress of the Holidays in 2020? Learn to navigate your expectations, overwhelm, and anxiety so that you can feel aware, present, and enjoy the Holidays this year and every year. You are in control of your emotions. Learn how to work with them and feel satisfied in your life more often. Find out more about seeking professional support HERE.